Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Onion crosses the line

Among this week's news briefs on The Onion, I find this story:
Senator Fucks Own Wife Out Of Political Necessity

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking reelection in 2008, Senator Gordon Smith (R-OR) will limit himself to sexual activity with his wife, Sharon. "I love my wife and would never do anything that would weaken our sacred bond of marriage, or reduce my constituent's faith in me," said Smith, who faces fierce competition in the next election due to recent redistricting. "Sharon's been right at my side, and instrumental in my political career, through all our years of marriage." Seeing no possible negative ramifications, Smith allows himself to jerk off while thinking about Naomi Watts.

Pretty funny, right? Well, it was up until the claim that Smith "faces fierce competition in the next election due to recent redistricting" appears. "Nonsense," I thought to myself, "Senators run in statewide races. They'd have to change the shape of Oregon for Smith to face some kind of 'districting' change."

Then I realized that being a political scientist has severely damaged my ability to appreciate political humor.

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