The State of Genetic Dis-Union

The most interesting thing to me in President Bush's latest State of the Union address was his forceful opposition to "the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos." In part, this just goes to show how uninteresting the speech was in general. Beyond that, though, I'm alarmed at the possible consequences of this government hostility to the most engaging things scientists do, which is egregiously abusive research.

Animal-human hybrids are an unqualified boon to society. Where would the Sci-Fi Channel's "original movie productions" (and especially Nu-Image Films) be without experiments in animal-human genetic hybrids? Quintessential examples can be found in Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, Mansquito, and Spiders II: Breeding Ground.

I hope he's not opposed to any genetically altered animal DNA. Certainly Donald Rumsfeld's vision for a new, smaller, more mobile, flexible and technologically advanced military includes some role for intelligent or super-vicious sharks, or giant snakes or lizards. As one of the military characters in Dark Waters says (I'm paraphrasing), isn't everybody looking for the perfect biological weapon?

Speaking of Dark Waters (another of many, many, many, many recent movies about killer, often genetically engineered sharks), if Simmone Jade MacKinnon isn't the result of some incredibly successful genetic experiment in Australian redhead technology, I'll watch Jaws: The Revenge again.

Ironies abound in the president's position, of course. Mere minutes earlier in the speech he'd endorsed research to produce hybrid cars. Also, just yesterday, the President outlined a program to invest in research and development of, among other things, nanotechnology. As we all know, nanotechnology is at least as dangerous as genetic experimentation to the human race.

I actually believe that this alarm over cloning and genetic hybrids is merely another attempt by the Bush administration to manufacture an enemy to terrify Americans into closing ranks around the GOP, who will promise to protect them at any cost. I imagine Karl Rove recently saw the X-Men movie and was inspired by Senator Robert Kelly's anti-mutant campaign to create an anti-genetic hybrid hysteria that the administration could exploit. Before too long, we'll see the president publicly denounce Patrick Duffy, the Man From Atlantis, and Mr. Gerbik, the 208 year old uncle of Dr. Octagon who is actually a hybrid of a hybrid: half shark-alligator, half man.

Speaking of the X-Men, I would support a different version of the ban the president is proposing. I haven't followed comic books for nearly twenty years, but whenever I look into what is going on in the world of Marvel comics, it seems like some idiotic plot line having to do with clones or time travel has messed up some title. I would support a legislative ban on human cloning and time travel in comic books, although that might not mean anything since I don't read them anyway.